“Real Gs move in silence.” I hate this quote. The notion that you shouldn’t tell people about what you’re working on because there are haters out there
… okay AND?
If you believe in God, is a hater greater than God?
If you don’t believe in God
….OKAY AND? Let the haters hate.
I also used to think haters of regular degular people like myself was absolute rubbish and nonsense. People would be all like “My haters my haters.” And I’m just like, shut up. You’re not Beyonce, nobody cares.
As someone who is incapable of hating another, I just really did not understand this concept until it happened to me. Whewwwwwwwwwww chile the shade I’ve seen this year, but I mean, I’m pure unfiltered sunlight so throw all the shade you want…
I will say, I’ve learned this year that I can’t share all of my goals and accomplishments with everybody. And because this blog is not anonymous (I regret this every day lol), I really can’t go into detail here but this is what I’ll say.
Be careful about what you share with people because
- Perception is everything. Let’s say you start baking an apple pie for a party, and someone (Mr. Krabs) sees you writing a label that says banana pie … unbeknownst to them, that label is for a pie you’re baking tomorrow for your family in Alaska. So Mr. Krabs goes around telling everybody that you’re making banana pie (when you’re making apple pie). So let’s say banana pies are banned on campus, and the security guard, Suzy Q, hears about your banana pie (which is really an apple pie), but it doesn’t matter because Suzy Q is under the impression that you’re making a banana pie. So you get to campus the next day with your apple pie labeled as apple pie, and you’re like “surprise y’all, I made apple pie.” And then Suzy Q drop kicks you in the chest and arrests you on campus and they’re all like “GOTCHA, BANANA PIE BANDIT.”And you’re like “wtf? I made an apple pie you fool. I know banana pies are banned on campus.“But by this time reporters are already taking pictures of you with the caption “Grad student expelled for bringing banana pie to campus.” A tweet of you getting drop kicked in the chest goes viral. Blah blah blah, skip to the end.Suzy Q eats a slice of your pie and they’re like “oh my bad, that is apple pie…mmm…that is delicious! Did you grow these apples yourself????” but the damage has already been done.
What’s my point? Because someone/everybody thought you were coming with banana pie (even though it was apple pie). The expectation of banana pie led to the catastrophe with Suzy Q.
So guess what do you do next time? Make your gat damb apple pie with your labels at home and don’t tell not one single soul what you’re doing.
If how someone perceives what you’re doing COULD impact what you are actually doing, you need to make sure that what they are perceiving does not get in the way of what you’re actually doing or want to do. Perception is everything and trust me, sometimes it is SoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo STUPID. It can be SoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo frustrating, but like, if keeping things to yourself will make your life easier, do that.
Of course you need to be the judge of whether you CARE about how someone perceives you. Like, I care how Chadwick Boseman perceives me because that’s my husband and I’m tryna be Queen to the Black Panther…. but like… do I care how Thanos sees me? No. He’s dead so he’s irrelevant. Do I care how my employer who writes my check perceives me? Uh… yes, cause I gotta pay my rent.
Anyway, in THESE instances, I’m learning it’s better to keep your mouth shut and just do your own thing in private.
- Beware of wolf in sheep’s clothing
I’m starting to learn that as I share my success with people, not everyone is excited or happy for me. Sometimes it’s blatant, sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes it’s covered under a facade of “friendship.” If people cannot celebrate or be happy with you about your accomplishments, they’re not your friends or they are incapable of being a good friend to you. Periodt. It doesn’t stop me from celebrating, but I do realize that because people talk way too much every where in the world, people knowing my every move changes how people perceive me (see point 1), and some of those people can indeed impact my future movements. I’m not saying that you should allow folks to dim your light or make you less proud, just be very mindful and careful about what you share.Let’s say you find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow on campus and you post a picture on Instagram and for the next 3 weeks you find another pot of gold. But because you’re a grad student with loans you put all 4 pots of gold towards your undergrad loans.But OTHER people are saying “dang, yo, she got 4 pots of gold and only people with student loans only find pots of gold. She doesn’t have student loans (not knowing that you do indeed have student loans)… she must know a leprechaun.”But the gag is, not only are banana pies banned on campus, so are leprechauns.So you’re all like “omg y’all, 4 pots of freaking gold in 3 weeks. Thank God”
Well sh–. It’s over with now. You might as well BE A LEPRECHAUN.
So now your “friends” who were not at all excited about the 1st nor 4th pot of gold are going around saying you know a leprechaun on campus. Of course Suzy Q gets wind of this and…. well you know the rest.
So what you do? Maybe just don’t post about the pots of gold until leprechauns are allowed on campus or maybe just post the 1 pot of gold.
It’s unfortunate you gotta tip toe around people’s malcontent but in this case, not everyone is happy for you and that can affect how you are perceived. 50% of the time I’m like eff y’all, but the other 50% of the time I’m just like you know what? I can celebrate this stuff with the people who actually care and value me. My accomplishments will eventually speak for itself.
That’s it. If nothing else, don’t share more than you need to with people who:
1) may perceive it in a way that limits you. Key word being may. That doesn’t mean that this will happen but if there’s a POSSIBILTY, just remove, jor.
2) Not everyone’s on your team, take time to get to know people and celebrate with those who actually love you. That’s not hard to see, sheep don’t run with lion.
With Love and Light… cause some of y’all shady